BEHOLD! The DROW!

Mary-sues, accidental-on-purpose plagarization, and the gothiest goths who ever gothed.

Earth, Wind, Air, and Fire; but under no circumstances Heart.

BEHOLD! The DUERGAR!

Workahol, Brutalism, and magical capes.

BEHOLD! The DRYAD!

Sexy tree ladies, interspecial romantic triangles, and eco-terrorist fashion models.

Behold! The DRIDER!

Half elf, half spider, all Drider.

BEHOLD! The DRAGON TURTLE!

It’s Halloween Month, so the monsters are getting restless. Will this mean more frequent Monster Mashing? Who knows. But please, for now, enjoy the biggest turtle in the game.

BEHOLD! Several DRAGONS!

Reverse dragon economies, goofy drought enablers, and the ultimate bird-cat-snake.

BEHOLD! The DISPLACER BEAST!

A bad cat who is not where you think it is.

BEHOLD! The DINOSAURS!

Creationist theme parks, homebrewed Archaeology, and Wes’ Dino Corner!

Chaotic Goblin Unions, Hipster Necromancers, and Villainous Heads of Note

BEHOLD! The DEATHKNIGHT!

The Lithuanian flag, bad people who do good things, and a sorta-black-if-you-squint knight.

BEHOLD! The Coatl!

Back from the dead, the Monster Manual Mash digs into the annals of history to give you our episode recorded in front of a live audience at Sadleir House back in November. We get heckled and fact-checked in REAL TIME, just like you always wanted!

Part snake, part bird, all snake-bird. The Coatl is a nice guy patron.

BEHOLD! The COCKATRICE!

A neurotic monstrosity for your modern mascot needs.

BEHOLD! The CLOAKER!

Half manta ray, half old coat, all gimmick.

BEHOLD! The CHUUL!

Sentience settled, Japanese Bug Fights, and the golf ball maker’s apprentice.

BEHOLD! The Chimera!

Putting a hat on a hat, echidnas aren’t just small ant-eaters, and Bellerophon was totally a PC.

BEHOLD! The Centaur!

Party monsters, noble poison victims, and a human butt on top of a horse butt.

BEHOLD! The Carrion Crawler!

Dungeon Slug, Dungeon Slug, Dungeon Slug, and Pepsi.

BEHOLD! The Cambion!

Bad tattoos, angsty teens, and sexy devils.

BEHOLD! The Bullywug!

Hobbes’ Leviathan, poisonous frogs, and gross faces you want to punch.

BEHOLD! The Bulette!

Land-sharks, dollar stores, and power rangers.

BEHOLD! The Bugbear!

Military Muppets, monster rehab centers, and high speed gobo-Darwinism.

BEHOLD! BLIGHTS!

Wes knows a thing or two about tree oil, the whole forest actively hates you, and these peas are really big, as far as peas go.

BEHOLD! The Beholder!

Finally got that out of my system. Chris justifies his hand tattoo with crazy talk, special guest Karol talks Cacodemon copyright, and Wes describes his experience of the ideal Beholder encounter (screaming, lasers).

BEHOLD! The Behir!

The first potential dud is narrowly avoided by turning everything into weasels, demonstrating advanced eel knowledge, and cutting out some cardboard dragons.

BEHOLD! The Basilisk!

Bad smelling chickens, how to generate rats, and an idea that enslaves you by thinking about it.

 

BEHOLD! The Banshee!

Misogynistic biology, professional mourners, and, while ghosts are real, we’d really like you not to think about them.

BEHOLD! The Azer!

Metal-based racism, fire worship and sexy elves trying not to be sexy.

BEHOLD! THE ANKHEG!

9 AM is a bad time to watch Tremors, giant ants might actually be marmots, and a tree coming out of your neck HAS to mean something.

BEHOLD! Animated Objects!

This rug was made for smothering, and that’s just what it’ll do. We talk chairs who think they’re cows, magic as advertising, and the nefarious implications of Pixar’s Cars.

BEHOLD! Some angels!

Wes and Chris talk muscly, feathery, Abrahamic HUNKS. With the right setup, you can use them right out of the box, but have you considered covering them in eyes or making them look like a giant wheel?

 

BEHOLD! The Aboleth!

D&D’s favorite mind-controlling fish blob. Wes is all for it, but Chris thinks it’s a hot mess. Is it Lovecraft-ian enough? What are “globsters”? And, have you ever seen an exploding whale?

Welcome to Monster Manual Mash!

We are no one in particular, and we pick apart every entry in the Dungeons and Dragons monster manual, drawing from history, mythology, arm-chair psychology, pop culture and our own improv to figure out what makes each one tick.

BEHOLD! The Aaraokocra!

What do bird people from the elemental plane of air have to do with Buddhism, Romulans, and the planet Jupiter? Maybe if you LISTENED you would know, ok?

NOTE: We botched the quality of the recording so it sounds tinny. Wes fixes some of it part way through but, it is what it is. Rather than rerecord and lose the spontaneity and energy of our conversation, we are asking you to grin and bear it this time around. Don’t be precious. Sorry. Sorry. We get better!